The Work Beneath the Work

BY MIKE VINCENT | 12 JAN 2026

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In the Marine Corps, we spent an enormous amount of time preparing for the visible parts of the job: physical fitness, tactics, logistics, execution. What mattered most under pressure, however, was never just what we did. It was who we were being when it counted.

That truth didn’t disappear when I retired. If anything, it became clearer.

Most people I meet today (leaders, business owners, educators, parents) are working hard. They’re improving systems, refining plans, setting goals, managing calendars. And yet many feel stalled, depleted, or quietly dissatisfied. The issue isn’t effort. It’s energy. They’re doing the outer work which requires more and more energy. They’re avoiding the inner work which generates more and more energy.

The Questions We Don’t Slow Down Long Enough to Ask

Real growth doesn’t begin with answers. It begins with questions most of us rush past:

• How do I need to be right now?

• What inner stance am I taking?

• What decision brought me here?

• What am I waiting for?

• What’s working? What isn’t?

• What’s missing?

• What’s next—and am I actually open to it?

These aren’t productivity questions. They’re orientation questions. They reveal not just what you’re doing, but where you’re coming from. Most people never pause long enough to notice that.

Proactive Owners and Reactive People See the Same World Differently

Over the years, I’ve noticed a consistent divide; not between strong and weak people, but between two internal postures.

Reactive people ask, “Do they like me?”

Proactive owners ask, “How can I serve?”

Reactive people hear a small, parochial inner voice…reactive, fearful, protective.

Proactive owners create their own voice…deliberate, grounded, responsible.

Reactive people avoid decisions because decisions carry risk.

Proactive owners recognize that not deciding is itself a decision, and often the most costly one.

Your personality is your posture.

And posture can change, but it takes an investment of energy.

What Stops Us Isn’t Usually What We Think

When people finally slow down enough to reflect, they often discover something uncomfortable: the thing stopping them isn’t lack of ability, clarity, or opportunity. It’s avoidance.

• Avoiding disappointment

• Avoiding conflict

• Avoiding responsibility

• Avoiding the possibility that they might have to change

One of the most revealing questions I’ve ever encountered is this:

What do you get by not deciding?

For many, the answer is safety. Familiarity. Plausible excuses. But those come at a cost.

Spiritual Fitness Is Not Abstract

We’ve done ourselves a disservice by fragmenting well-being into neat categories: mental, physical, emotional, professional. In my experience, those are inseparable.

Call it what you want—integrity, alignment, presence—but when those elements are integrated, people become resilient in the truest sense. They adapt. They take initiative and act decisively without fear. They respond instead of react. Your ability to respond is your responsibility.

That integration is what I mean by spiritual fitness.

Not religion. Not ideology.Orientation. Coherence. Wholeness.

It’s the ability to choose where you are coming from, even under pressure.

This Is Why Coaching Exists

A good coach doesn’t give advice. They don’t tell you who to be. They don’t hand you answers.

They hold space for the questions you keep postponing.

They help you see the difference between childish and childlike. Between caution and fear. Between waiting and choosing.

They help you recognize what is most powerful about you right now, and how you’re either using it or avoiding it.

In the military, we trained relentlessly so that our responses under stress were intentional rather than accidental. Coaching serves the same purpose in civilian life. It trains your internal response so your external actions are aligned.

So here’s the question I’ll leave you with:

How do you want to use the rest of your life?

If you’re honest, you may already know the answer. What you may not have is someone to help you face it, refine it, and act on it without fear. That’s the work beneath the work. And it’s work worth doing.

Contact us at kaleocoaching.com if you or your organization would benefit from hearing more about coaching or if you’d like to know more about leading your team through strengths-based workshops.

About the author: Mike is a graduate of the University of Missouri and Co-owner of Leiber Heating and Air Conditioning. He recently retired after twenty years of service as a United States Marine, and is also a Gallup-certified CliftonStrengths coach on staff at Kaleo Coaching. Email him at mike@kaleocoaching.com.